Will Blog For Food

In the off chance someone reads this . . .

2011-09-12T01:02:00.000-07:00

I haven't been keeping this up as much as I would like, but I've been a little busy.

I have begun to use Mint.com, which is a scary proposition because you place all your financial information into one Intuit program and hope that no one ever hacks into it, in an attempt to be fiscally responsible. I blame it on watching "Suze Orman." She makes me want to start a trust and save for retirement.

But about the saving for retirement -- I'm of two minds on this. OK, you're old and you have a few hundred thousand dollars saved and 20-30 years of scrimping and saving. Or spend all your money when you're young enough to enjoy it and spend your golden years scrimping and saving? I have to say the latter sounds more appealing.

Obviously I didn't start saving money in my 20s, so I'm already in trouble. Perhaps my best retirement plan may be lottery tickets.

Fun for Freelance Writers!

2010-12-17T10:55:00.000-08:00

May this give you a chuckle! You have to laugh so you don't cry.

The Top of Google!

2010-12-04T19:46:00.000-08:00

Apparently this blog is at the top of a search for me. I don't know why, maybe people are interested in what I'm doing? I like to think I'm fascinating...

Either way, I have spent most of the last few weeks grading papers and finishing stories. I'll send the links in a bit, but I hope you noticed my piece on the Five Questions You Should Ask Your Data Center for PCWorld.com. Yes, yes, data centers are not the most exciting thing about tech -- but you will care if your favorite website or blog goes offline. I'm also working on a couple pieces for AOL, which I'll also pass on.

Working on my Christmas cookie list, which includes all my clients and other wondeful people. So far, I'm planning on lemon cookies, two kinds of biscotti and possibly caramel chocolate brownies. Luckily finals week is coming up quickly, so I should be able to start cooking this week. Unfortunately for my family, this is as domestic as I get. I don't mind cooking at all, I just hate the cleaning up afterwards.

Let me know your address and you just might get a custom treat in the mail!

Why Am I Watching Canadian Personal Finance Shows?

2010-09-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm trying to figure out why I'm watching programming where people say, "We're in a lot of debt we can't get *oat* of!" People say Canadians say "oot" instead of "out," but it's really more of an "oat" noise. Anyway, a chubby lady with an indiscriminate accent named Gail Vaz-Oxlade hosts. Her accent reminds me of the housekeeper at the Semiahmoo Resort in Birch Bay, Wash. (about 10 miles from British Columbia) who yelled at all the drunk Canadians to get back into their rooms.

Speaking of personal finance, I found I could make some side money writing for a local Website, but I'm deciding if the time is worth the pay. I'm concentrating on writing for PCWorld (check out my latest post on Google TV!) and other occasional places. Yes, I'm purposely being mysterious.

I ate way too much ice cream today, but I did go for a short bike ride so I don't feel as terrible. I was breathing harder and purposely did a short ride because I wasn't feeling great and I had just woken up from a nap (yes, I'm that self-indulgent!) I was only almost hit by a car once and I wasn't required to say "hi" to any of my neighbors, so it was a good day.

The "Snack Dinner"

2010-08-28T20:44:00.000-07:00

I ate a huge lunch and I'm still a little full and I've decided to institute the "snack dinner." It only makes sense. It's usually the heaviest meal of the day and you don't need it late in the day or at night -- so isn't it better to have a dinner snack?

So what would be a dinner snack? Fruit, a side salad, cucumbers in low-fat poppyseed dressing, a bowl of cereal. At least that's what I'm calling it, but it's something under 500 calories. Basically enough to keep you going until you go to bed, but not so heavy that you feel you haven't worked out enough that day. And since most people work out earlier in the day, isn't it smarter to have your lightest meal later in the day?

Hmm, or I guess you could do physical activity twice a day. But that's hard.

What a very long day....

2010-08-19T02:05:00.000-07:00

Today (OK, it was yesterday, but until I go to sleep, it's still the same day!) was the 90th anniversary of the 19th Amendment! So, for those who think we're so civilized, women couldn't vote until well into the 20th century (that's 1920, as my Schoolhouse Rock taught me.)

I was so into feminism when I was a kid. I guess now it seems odd, but I was a vehement supporter of women's rights when I was 10-14. I guess I still am, but perhaps not as passionately. I wonder why. Maybe I was just a weird kid. I guess my parents figured at least it wasn't drugs.

PCWorld Domination!

2010-08-10T08:39:00.000-07:00

I've been writing for PCWorld's Business Center lately and I enjoy it. (Check out some of my recent work on Adobe Flash and Android Phones.) And one of my posts made most popular of the week (patting back.)

Been biking, doing yoga and meditating. I'm not sure about the last part, other than to be conscious of my breathing. If I have time this morning, I'll try to sneak in a ride before I hop into the shower like a real grown-up.

Mornings here have been so gray -- August gloom doesn't quite have the same ring to it -- but as all the old backpackers used to tell me, "This is the best weather for hiking! No blaring sun and no rain." Sometimes I miss being surrounded by old people who unapologetically fart as they scamper up a hill.

Generic Fruity Pebbles and Easy Mac On My Floor

2010-07-30T12:22:00.000-07:00

I spent most of yesterday entertaining guests, three of which were aged 5, 7 and 11. I visited three parks, a beach and a Starbuck's. I did get some exercise, walking about a mile, and sustained a sunburn. I was seemingly sapped of energy though -- it's as if children are energy vampires. (I guess parents already know this.) The little vampires seem to survive on high-fructose corn syrup cereal and Cheetos.

At the end of it, I had a purple cardigan over my head to shield me from the sun and watching over the 5-year-old as the 7- and 11-year-old went to the bathroom and this seemed to be the one time in the day that people kept saying, "Hi!" to me. Maybe it was my headcovering that made me eccentrically approachable.

However, I do have an Easy Mac stain on my kitchen chair that will forever be my souvenir of their visit.

New Blogging Gig, Day 7

2010-07-15T16:58:00.000-07:00

I've been working for PC World now for a week and learning a lot. Some of my recent work has been on the Apple iPhone 4 controversy and Google losing some search traffic to Bing and Yahoo. Other than that, I've been working in other spheres of life, been laid on by several cats seeking a heat source and attempting to eat more well-balanced meals. Oh, and cycling and yoga as my only forms of exercise. So far, I find myself only able to do about 3/4 of the forms with the instructor yelling seemingly only to me, "Child's pose if you can't do this one!"

Usually my knees feel like I'm on cement and I have the flexibility of a two-by-four, so I'm not insulted. Despite my complaints, I feel good. More flexible, more comfortable and happy.

My mother's coming to stay for a week beginning Friday, so it will be a neurosis-a-palooza for me. Not quite looking forward to it, but not running away, either....definitely will be going to more yoga classes or bike rides.

New Blogging Gig, Day One

2010-07-08T22:45:00.000-07:00

I wrote my first two posts for PC World today, one on the hacking of Pirate Bay and another on how the rich have laptops and iPads and the poor have cell phones. Keep fingers crossed on pageviews!

On the health front, I'm on Day Five of Movement (Day One and Day Two was cycling, Day Three was yoga, Day Four was cycling) which was Mat Pilates. The only thing I know for sure is that I'm now aware of my inner thighs and butt. And that I'm unable to put my toes past my head when I'm lying on my back. Oh, and that apparently my town is full of fey young men with very flat stomachs. Oh, and Angelina Jolie looks great with black hair.

However, the new eating and moving seems to have some results. I can now actually wear the size I keep believing I wear! Clothes are much more comfortable this way.

Will see if I break loose tomorrow and eat an ice cream cake, but probably not.

Life Changing Day One

2010-06-25T23:01:00.000-07:00

OK, I could have made a sensible dinner, but quite frankly I'm still in convalescence and I have no intention of cooking. The SO doesn't like to cook, so it was Lebanese food from five blocks away. Wasn't that impressed, it was nothing like the Mediterranean/Armenian food I had in Fresno (seriously! That bulgur pilaf was oozing butter and yumminess.) I fed most of the kabob to my cat and ate a pile of saffron rice.

So my life changing didn't work as much as it could have. Baby steps, I guess, but I am having a stress-free time. Love it.

John Muir Hospital was a little depressing, with a lot of elderly people being wheeled around in gurneys saying, "Where am I? Who are you?" Also, the smell of urine was overwhelming. For a while I thought, "Is it me? Did I wet myself?" because the smell was was so strong. Later I realized it was because literally everyone was peeing everywhere including bedpans, catheters and various incontinence issues.

As I was waiting for my MRI another elderly lady was wheeled away from the machine with a technician saying, "OK, Mrs. X, you're done with your MRI and you can go back to your room now."

"What? I need to go to get an MRI?"

"No, Mrs. X, you're finished. You can go back to your room now."

"But why am I here?"

They also told me I had to get rid of my shoes and wear their slipper socks, so I gave them to the SO. "It's so we can't run away," I told him.

The worst part was the waiting. I literally sat in Emergency Room 24 for almost nine hours before I got a bed. It becomes very obvious to a patient that everything moves at the staff's pace only which, if at shift-change, means hours.

Needless to say, when they said they wanted to hold me for another day I was like, "No way, get me out of this Death Motel!" and they didn't kick up a fuss. It honestly made Kaweah Delta seem like a palace. Who knew?

Sorry, been busy . .

2010-06-25T00:43:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have been really busy -- including a recent hospital stay for exhaustion. OK, not really, it was for something else and it was scary. There are a few jobs on the horizon, including some possible blogging -- but no word so far.

I had my first MRI, which was a bit scary and claustrophobic (I'm not claustrophobic but this will make anyone feel claustrophobic) and after being wrapped and strapped in like a mummy, you are shoved into this sarcophagus where it feels and sounds like a pack of rowdies are throwing hammers at you. The technician called it more like being put in a cannon. The hardest part was staying completely still for 15 minutes.

Life is strange. Stranger when you realize how close we are to not being alive.

Hi, I'm Barbara E. Hernandez and I've been busy

2010-04-08T23:05:00.001-07:00

I'm on a week's vacation -- which was sorely needed. After grading 120 or so papers, I needed to empty my brain a little. Am still working on my various books, but slowly! I'm giving myself to December to have them done completely.

Still working for CBS Interactive and AOL's WalletPop. Go over and have a look! (I need the hits.)

My life on vacation seems to be waking up around 9 a.m., working, then watching early primetime on HD channels and ending the night with Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert -- maybe a late-night show if someone interesting is on -- and for me that can be Kendra Wilkinson, I'm not that picky. (Yes, I watch "Kendra." I love reality TV, but not "Survivor" or any of that ilk.)

About Healthcare...

2009-12-16T02:23:00.000-08:00

A tryout post I did for a media company:

While the U.S. healthcare public option lies dying in the Senate, the U.S. House of Representatives is set to vote on a $150 billion jobs bill this week that will provide $48 billion for construction projects, $27 billion for states to keep teachers, police and firefighters and also provide loans to small businesses. The $150 billion used will be paid for with money from the $700 billion fund to bail out banks Congress approved last year. "We make no apology whatsoever for trying to give the same amount of attention to Main Street needs as was given earlier to Wall Street needs," House Appropriations Committee Chairman David Obey told Reuters.

The only problem is that all these issues are tied up in one $626 billion defense spending bill that Congress is rushing to finish before leaving for vacation. A defense bill that contains a job bill, food stamps and money for small-business loans? Yes, one in the same. It's an attempt to throw all bills into one big pot so it takes only one quick vote before our Congressmen and women can literally rush out of the Capitol Building doors and and enjoy their winter break. The vote is scheduled for Wednesday but debate on health care could spill over into Christmas week, according to the Associated Press.

With so many eyes concentrating on health care legislation, few Congress members are spending time on anything else, including this bill which extends unemployment benefits and COBRA benefits, creates jobs and provides money for state-run health care and food stamp programs. It seems that many members of Congress don't even realize there have been month-long delays of unemployment checks in California and Wisconsin because of antiquated computer systems. They also don't seem to understand that more and more laid-off workers are facing homelessness, or that even subsidized COBRA benefits for a family cost about the entirety of an unemployment check. (Full Disclosure: Based on my own recent unemployment check.)

I would like to think that Congress has our best interests at heart, but so far no jobs have been created -- worse, it seems to be the last thing on our legislators' minds.

Hola!

2009-09-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

Still here and just successfully pitched a story to the New York Times!

On a personal note, I did something horrid to my back (I blame my pygmy couch) and am trying all kinds of stretches to help push this along. I am still working on the anthology, although I am not half-way done yet. It's strange being a literary editor, but I'm learning a lot. (Isn't that how it's all done?)

Now a break for Mika:

Unwinding From a Month of Writing

2009-08-16T00:53:00.000-07:00

Oh, man, I just spent a few hard weeks working on my manuscript in Southampton and in Squaw Valley. I think I would go again next year!

I'm teaching three classes in fall, so that's keeping me busy, but I also hope to finish my manuscript by December. Hope it all works. Will write more later.

Hey, sorry for not keeping updated

2009-07-03T15:36:00.000-07:00

And if any of you out there are awaiting anthology news, just know I've been entirely swamped with work up until right now. So that means nothing new to report, but hopefully in the next 60 days!

This month I hope be on the right track and will let everyone know what's going on. I'm heading to New York (the Hamptons!) on July 14 and won't be back until August -- which means I'm then onto a Squaw Valley writers workshop where I'll get to meet with other writers, editors and agents. It's quite a little circuit I've got going.

Anyway, I will keep all of you posted.

It looks like I'm not posting . . .

2009-04-12T22:25:00.000-07:00

. . . but I am, just not on this particular blog. Been busy working and juggling my various projects, including an anthology I'm in the middle of compiling. It's been a bit hectic, especially with a major holiday complete with family (and stress) and a master's thesis deadline.

My blog designer hasn't written me back. Perhaps I'll have to find someone else.

There will come a time when . . .

2009-01-17T08:58:00.001-08:00

. . . I will have a professional Web site. It's coming, although this week has been extraordinarily busy. Like full-time-job-and-the-kids-have-soccer-practice-and-ballet-three-nights-a-week busy.

I just finished my feature for Geek and am taking on some more marketing work, just before I start teaching English composition. And all of this while attempting to remodel my new house! (I also have two other blogs, but I rarely work on those --- sad, really.) Did I mention the word "remodel" triggers money to leap free from your wallet?

Anyhow, I may have something to pitch the New York Times later, but I'm toning down the freelancing to make time for my master's thesis (and eventual book.) I will post again, this time with my new Web site -- OK, at least give me another month to set it up.

My Latest Stories

2008-11-14T12:54:00.000-08:00

Sorry, been working and lost track of this blog! I wrote a few stories for the former East Bay Business Times, now the San Francisco Business Times, about Pleasanton and San Ramon.

I also am still at BNET, where I'm writing about travel and really enjoy it. I think it's even interesting for the general audience. Especially this article on the The Five Worst-Hit Destinations, or something like that. I think the photos make it .. fabulous!

Anyway, I will keep you posted! Must work on NY Times article and something a little different for Geek Magazine!

Do Not Give It Away for Free

2008-11-09T12:40:00.001-08:00

A little video with Harlan Ellison, sci-fi fantasy writer -- kind of an annoying guy, but says what many writers think. Discuss.

My Day of the Dead

2008-11-02T18:00:00.000-08:00

I spent my Day of the Dead roaming around my haunted house in pajamas watching the rain and wondering if it would actually leak through the not-quite-finished roof. I think it was more than an inch of rain last night.

I was watching the "McLaughlin Group" and Pat Buchanan says Obama will win.

It's definitely going to be an interesting Tuesday. More on blogging later. Sorry, been preoccupied lately.

And Rule Number Two....

2008-10-20T01:20:00.000-07:00

Blogger Stardom Rule No. 2:

Blog or die.

You gotta write every day. Don't you hate going to your favorite restaurant and finding it closed down on some random Tuesday? That's what it's like for people jonesing for one of your posts -- which they want to see every day, week in and week out. Want a day off? Too bad. You're the one who wanted Blogger Stardom!

And now a word from my adolescent subconscience from Siouxsie and the Banshees. Warning: This video contains creativity and could create a general feeling of confusion.

Hey, it's not easy to reach blogger stardom...

2008-10-06T17:36:00.000-07:00

Blogger stardom Rule No. 1:

Establish an original, online presence.

OK, I think I'm doing that. And if you don't know how, then you're not using Google the way it should be used. Now, for a great song by the 1990s band, Soup Dragons -- and yes, it's the song the Rolling Stones covered.

Hmm, it sure got cool suddenly . . .

2008-09-09T18:44:00.001-07:00

Only last week it was 100+ and now it's a high of 68. Strange, strange indeed. I actually put on a longsleeve shirt today and closed some windows. I may have forgotten to post this, it's something I did for the East Bay Business Times. A story on Joe Ernst, who had a fairly interesting story about getting started in the crazy commercial real estate biz.

When the corporate job that lured him from Minneapolis to the West Coast disappeared after only six months in 1998, Joe Ernst found himself at a crossroads. Should he become a mountain biking guide in Hawaii or continue working in the real estate business?

“I got pretty close to taking that job in Molokai,” he said, his eyes taking in the passersby on Broadway and 20th from the first floor of the former I. Magnin Building. “I sometimes wonder what would have happened.”

In Belfast, and it's beautiful

2008-08-20T08:03:00.000-07:00

Hey, all, in case you are wondering where I am and if I will ever blog about real estate again....it's a possibility, but one I can't really talk about right now. However, I can upload videos from my stay in Belfast. Go to Northern Ireland, it's beautiful! (If a little too lively at times ....)

A Necessary Mika Moment

2008-07-30T13:48:00.000-07:00

Mika - Love Today

Sometimes there are just days where Mika is a guru, a visionary, a genius if you will. Today is one of them. Take him at his words, "Love Today."

This week will busy, I guarantee it

2008-07-29T19:03:00.000-07:00

In case you are reading this blog and interested in hiring me, I am steadily working on freelance assignments and pondering my next move.

I'm also having a big barbecue on Saturday, Aug. 9. With the rising cost of food, I think everyone should view it as a necessary free meal.

My husband bought two pounds of blueberries. I now must make blueberry muffins and blueberry poundcake to rid the house of them. I don't know what I'm going to do with all of the cakery, maybe I'll hand them out on the street? I'm sure people will think I'm sane.

Hey, hire me!

2008-07-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have been officially laid off at the Bay Area News Group, along with 29 colleagues. I survived the first three rounds, so I guess it was my turn. Still, I learned a lot and in many ways it was the best job I ever had.

I'm keeping this blog as a way for people to learn more about me, while at the same time perhaps looking at my body of work (hint: it's on the bottom left under "My Work.") I took all photos on the left, too. I view digital photography as a hobby, though. If it was a real job I'm not sure I would enjoy it as much.

On Friday I'll be heading to the Willamette Valley. I'm writing a real estate feature for the New York Times. I will keep you posted.

I think it's boring when people don't update...

2008-05-07T21:56:00.000-07:00

...yet here I am again, becoming what I despise. Waaah.

I have two award banquets to go to this week -- the East Bay Press Club and the illustrious SPJ Inland Pro Chapter in Southern California. I hope I get at least one first place, but you never, never know.

School is coming to a close soon! In two weeks, actually. I think the official end is May 23, and that is worthy of celebration. Still need to find books about psychopaths and all that fun stuff, but it should be all fascinatingly good stuff.

More stuff to talk about and I'll be sure to come back to you. Promise.

(By the way, postage rises on May 12, get your Forever stamps while you can!)

In Memoriam

2008-04-25T17:47:00.000-07:00

There are photos of us all growing up, but it’s Aunt Lou’s beehive that always garners gasps of awe from strangers. It sits on her head, easily 18 inches high with densely-packed, graduated black curls resembling the shako worn by the Queen’s Guard.

I think sometimes people remember their peak, when they felt they looked their best and then try to make time stand still. Hers was the 1960s when Uncle Tony left her for another woman. My aunt was left with three boys and a house in her mother-in-law’s name.

Aunt Lou’s lawyer was a wealthy widow who went back to law school and opened a practice that gave legal aid to poor women.

My aunt had never worked and had to rely on her brothers to help financially.

Aunt Lou, or Luisa, had once been a beautiful woman with black hair, olive skin and snapping dark eyes. Her wedding photograph showed her in all her splendor – tiny waist, great skin, shining hair in lustrous curls and with a knowing, snow-white smile that said, “You wish you were me.”

She would tease her sister, my aunt Julia, about her red hair and freckles and call my other aunt Froggy because of her big eyes. She was the beauty of the family.

Now almost 15 years later, a streak of gray marred her jet-black hair. Her tiny waist had widened and make-up became a chore. The Colgate smile disappeared, she wore her son’s clothes and her shoulders slumped in defeat.

“I can get you this divorce and alimony,” the lawyer told my aunt. “But first let me ask you one thing – do you really want this divorce or do you want him back?”

My aunt’s dark eyes filled with tears. “I want him back.”

The lawyer nodded as if this was nothing new. “The next time he comes to see the boys I want you to have gone to the beauty parlor and had your hair and nails done. I want you to wear a new dress, new shoes and make-up. He needs to see what he’s been missing.”

My aunt wasn’t convinced, but she borrowed money and did as the lawyer instructed. A month later my uncle asked if he could come back home.

As soon as the boys were all in high school, Aunt Lou started working. She didn’t stop until she retired almost 30 years later. About the same time she stopped wearing the beehive and reminding Uncle Tony of what he put her through.

When he died in December 2005, she stopped going to the beauty parlor and cut off her hair, letting it come in white which was a shock to everyone. She said she forgot to take her medicine for diabetes and then was taken to a convalescent hospital for dialysis. After a few months she said she wanted to go home, to the same little house she shared with her husband and three growing boys. She died two weeks later.

Overwhelmed With Work!

2008-04-16T21:16:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am. OK, not like I have two toddlers or anything, which would be a bigger more horrific mess -- even more than six cats -- but it's been busy. I have to be creative and inject a fantasy element in my writing. It sounds kind of cool, though, so I really want to try it and see if it works.

The other piece is about 25 things you should know about ... a place you would like to travel. I really think it's a cool thing, too....so it's all really cool stuff to write about, but I wish I had a few more days to do it, you know?

Hopefully, you do.

Mi Madre en Dos Fotografias

2008-04-12T01:23:00.000-07:00

Just a taste:

My Mother in Two Photographs

I call the first photo “the glamour shot.” It’s my mother at 18 and visiting from college. She selected this photo and wanted me to use it in class. I almost thought about using something else and then realized that it tells more about her than I could. There she is with her cousin on the left and her sister on the right and she looks queenly, almost preening. The one thing I’m struck by is how much older she looks than 18. Maybe being the oldest of five children does that to you.

≈

I wanted to use the photo of her as a seven-year-old, with a big scab on her nose and her hair wild behind a barrette. It looks nothing like my mother with those dark eyes filled with expectation of excitement to come. She looks so fun, as if she can barely sit still for the school picture. And that is so not my mother. She didn’t want me using that picture.

≈

The other picture she wanted to give me was when she won “Sports Queen” in high school. My mother has always wanted to control how she’s portrayed by other people, conscious to tell me how pretty and popular she was when she was younger.

≈

The second photo is of my mother at my wedding. Coincidentally, she’s sitting next to her sister in the previous photo. She would always tell me that her biggest fear would be that I would turn out like her sister, fat, unpopular and unattractive to men. Although my aunt has been married three times, that’s her last husband you can’t see very well in the picture and they’ve been married 25 years. Incidentally, my mom is now fat, too.

I won an award!

2008-04-06T20:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, a real live award from SoCal, for ... a blog post. Not this one, but this one! (As you can see in my writing samples down on the lower left.) So, you see, even blogging has its rewards. I think.

Anyway, I don't know what I'll be winning, only that I've placed in the top three. Is it bad that if I travel down there that I hope I get a first place? Well, I could always not go and then I won't mind not being first.

By the way, if you need to find me.....I'm at twitter! I'm "bhern." Find me!

My New York Times Story on Cambria!

2008-04-05T16:09:00.000-07:00

Oh, finally, my dear sweet story is in the New York Times. I like it. I like the Times, their skinny blue checks, my visit to Cambria even when it was hailing and people were shrieking as they ran from their car to their floral-decorated bed-and-breakfasts.

I love rain, and better yet, I love the ocean. I left my French doors wide open so I could hear the crash of the waves on the rocks even when the water started pooling in the balcony and the hail started. It was gorgeous. Anyway, the picture was taken during more sunny times.

Enjoy!

Tatiana the Tiger Memorials

2008-01-15T18:33:00.001-08:00

I have cried bitter tears these days, for Tatiana, the young tiger cut down in her prime. -- Susan Crawford, My Wild Heart

I think many people love animals more than people. I mean, think about it -- they don't talk back, they're usually a blank canvas that gazes up at you, are really good listeners, don't care if you gain weight or lose your hair, and can only leave the house when we want them to. Those are the domesticated animals, but it sometimes translates to the wild animals, too. Like Tatiana.

Look at the number of memorials she has on the Web, including this one at Yelp.

RIP Tatiana. I'm sorry you got killed for following your natural instincts, and I'm sorry you were locked in that depressing, stark zoo. I hope you're in tiger heaven now, but really - this planet is going to hell...you're probably better off. -- Lisa

Tatiana was like Rocky... people were always hating. And being a fighter at heart she took what was hers. -- Lee M.

There are like 6 billion people on the planet versus about 5000 tigers. Unlike humans, tigers don't really kill things for no reason. -- Phillip W.

If you need to see more, and I'm sure you all do, check out the Official Memorium for Tatiana MySpace page. I like it a lot, especially the music from "The Lion King." A taste:

I'm glad you mauled the fucking jerks that pissed you off. You're adorable and I'd let you maul me if you let me kiss your nose first. =)

This just makes my heart ache. She is just so beautiful and deserved a much better life. RIP. Peace.

For some reason, a Stephen Sondheim Web site has a memorial for Tatiana by the eloquent Mr. Wolf:

Again, who speaks for Tatiana? Who will defend her side in a court of law? Who will show the judge, the jury, and the media what tigers are really like; the innocence of their joys in life and the ever-present danger they pose to us bipeds? Who will stand up for Tatiana and call what was done to her by its proper name. abuse? . . . Who will speak for Tatiana's warm place in the sun, and bring down the hammer on the bastards who stole it from her?

Laurie Notaro's fascinating story

2007-11-30T00:34:00.000-08:00

If you don't know who Laurie Notaro is, then you should find out.

I bought her first book several years ago when I was shopping in Target and saw it on the book rack. I found, "The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club" pretty hilarious. She's written several books since but none quite as good as the first. Or maybe I was in my 20s and found drunken stories of single women in their 20s a hoot.

Either way, Notaro started off as a journalist and tried to publish her book. It didn't work, so she self-published. Some time passed and an agent saw her work and thought, "I could probably sell this," and then called Notaro up and sold two books. ... And Laurie Notaro had her first book published by Villard (and second and third ...)

Hers is really a fairy tale, but I think we need to hear about them sometimes, don't you?

I am giving to charity!

2007-11-26T00:15:00.000-08:00

I give money to Martha's Village and Kitchen in Indio every year, a homeless shelter that has a wing for women and children fleeing domestic violence. I did a story on it for the Los Angeles Times (which I don't have a link for) but it was very good (excellent, award-winning, brilliant! -- just kidding.) I guess I make a lot of money now and I shouldn't always spend it on stupid, frivolous stuff. So I'm trying to make sure I spend it on other things, too.

I also donated to Kiva and The Heifer Project because I saw them on Oprah. Yes, I admit it. But only late-night Oprah viewings. I do not tape or Tivo Oprah. Anyway, my donation allowed a family in Nepal to have a pig so they don't sell their little girls into prostitution. I think that's worth every cent I gave them.

I was going to hawk my writing and "Brand Hernandez," but it all seems really silly now.

Just Had a Revelation

2007-11-14T17:52:00.001-08:00

Remember Joe from "The Real World -- Miami"? It doesn't matter if you did or didn't, but I think it came out in 1996, around the last time I watched the MTV "reality series." Anyway, Joe was the short-guy, big-girlfriend character on it and he got a book deal. Now, does that mean he should have gotten a book deal? (Read the review. Ouch.)

So I was sitting in my professor's office as we talked about my MFA thesis. Why not write a book about what I've been currently writing about my life in journalism?!?

Goodness knows it shouldn't be an earth-shattering idea, but it kind of was. My big question was, "But would anyone be remotely interested reading something like that? Much less buying it?"

I mean, who really wants to see their book on the $1.99 bargain bin at Borders (or at Amazon)? Would it simply be a "Living' in Joe's World" kind of book destined for obscurity? Or could it be something better?

He seemed to think so, but then aren't professors supposed to be lifting you to loftier goals? (Aside from the 20-page modernism paper that is crushing my chest as I type this.) And do I want to write something where I may not be able to get a job afterwards?

He said I should worry about all of this after I write it over Winter Break.

I told him I'd get right on that.

Before I forget ...

2007-11-04T18:20:00.001-08:00

The New York Times has changed its format so all archives are now free. Because of that, I can now link to some of my stories.

The first is from Palm Springs, my old stomping grounds, where I was able to use a few people I already knew for the story. It worked well and the editors were pleased because who knew Alaina had such a great house? Great photos also made the piece. (Thanks J. Emilio Flores!)

I also did this audio slideshow where I sound like I'm a hungover 14-year-old. Photos are great, though.

I am about to be overwhelmed

2007-11-04T17:56:00.000-08:00

The SO's favorite phrase ever is from Project Runway -- Michael Kors' disgusted, "I'm underwhelmed."

I wish I was. So far, I feel as if a big weight is crushing my chest -- oh, wait, that's just my 20-page Modernism & Modernity paper!

Presently, aside from work, work, work, I'm trying to recast a story I wrote about Nancy Saechao, a 13-year-old girl killed by a stray bullet from a gang shooting, merging it with what I was feeling at the time (circa 1999.) Goodness knows if I can pull that off.

Since I have to promote and believe in all that is Myka, here's your weekly dose.

Mika - Love Today

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My Riverside County Review

2007-10-22T18:46:00.000-07:00

This was some online work I did for the San Diego Union Tribune, reviewing and talking about places to go in Riverside County for San Diegans who probably would never make the drive. (They should, it's not that different from Inland San Diego County -- really.) I also took the photo on a very, very hot afternoon -- I believe it was 102 degrees which is why no one is sitting on the patio.

I got the gig when the online entertainment editor called my boss at City News Service and asked if they knew anyone in Riverside County who could handle reviews.

If you know anything about journalism and editors, you will find that's how a good percentage of freelance hiring gets done. Unfortunately, I moved from Riverside County before I could do any more pieces. It's a nice package, though!